What to Expect when You’re Expecting… MENOPAUSE

A Woman’s Journey from Girlhood to a Seasoned Woman

November 24, 2009: OMG! The pain is getting so bad. My husband and I are inside the grocery store grabbing last minute items for the Thanksgiving dinner that we are hosting tomorrow. I am in such pain that I hold onto the basket handle and scrunch down hoping to alleviate the major cramps that have suddenly taken hold of me. The pain is so bad that I can’t even walk down the aisle to check out. I ask my husband to get the car and will he tell someone to hold our basket of groceries while he drives me home? I don’t know I’ve been having these instances more often, but they just come on fast and furious. I get major cramps each month, and bad headaches but I’ve coped for over 30 years.

May, 2010: Cramps again. The pain is mainly on the right side and it is so excruciating that I find myself wanting to pass out. My husband and I are in the car about 10 miles away from home and I ask him to pull over. I get out of the car and I cannot stand up straight. I feel as if I want to throw up. I have waves of pain and feel as if I am in labor. The contractions (for a lack of a better word) are about 10 minutes apart. I am in the middle of the contractions and I don’t feel the wave of pain. All is good in the world. What is wrong with me? What am I about to give birth to? An ovary?

I get home and I look in the mirror. I am pale and I run to the bathroom to start a bath. I am not sure if this will help but I try and convince myself that it will. I take my pants off and the pain starts again. It’s on my lower right side (where I think my ovaries are). I find myself timing the span of my contractions (about 2-3 minutes) and the interim where I have no pain (about 10 minutes). I contact the emergency room nurse and after listening to me (scream), she suggests I come into ER.

I am not trying to downplay the pain because it hurt bad. Instead, I shall sprinkle it with a little humor. It’s just that I am frustrated with the years of odd things that have happened to my body and I believe it’s all due to my female parts down south. Yes. South of the border.

May 1973: “I am a woman now,” I say excitedly and loudly. My father, working on the car in the garage had a dumbfound look on his face. He had no clue as to what I was talking about. So I told him. Sometimes there are things you just don’t tell your father. It was the day I started my period. I ran inside the bathroom and looked for the supplies in the closet for “the day.” I place one side of the pad through the plastic hole and slide it securely and repeated the same process for the other side. I pull up my underwear and I am pleased as punch. I look in the mirror to see if I have “instantly changed” since I now have the “change.” My father asks me to mow the lawn and I happily reply, “I started my period so I can’t right now.” He looks at me in disbelief and then tells me that although I am a woman now, I still have chores.

During my teenage years I had bad cramps. I ask my mom if she had cramps like this and she says no. I get them so bad that at times I do not go to school because the pain is so bad. But after day three, the cramps don’t hurt as bad. School is bearable and my cramps are tolerable.

During my twenties, the cramps have gotten worse. I have bad abdominal soreness, I am a bloated mess, and my mood changes about a week before my period up until the day my period begins. I am an emotional moody wreck and during this time, I feel hopelessness, depression, sadness, irritability, anxiety and anger. It’s during these moments that I actually believe that there is no purpose in my life. None. My self-worth and self-esteem is thrown out the window. I am fat, ugly and who wants me?

During my thirties, my work was demanding and I worked 50-60 hours a week in addition to trying to raise a family as well as participate in sports/activities. My cramps have gotten so bad, and my flow looks more like chunky cherry jelly, and my head aches with pain. More often than not, my lunch breaks consisted of lying in my chair or sofa eyes closed with a cold rag on my forehead so as to not vomit in the trash can. “Please God,” I pray, “please let me just make it through the day. Often, I would break it down hour by hour. These headaches (migraines) would last on the average for about 3 days. They got so bad that I would have the prescription Imitrex available to me and hopefully I could time it right by taking it at the onset of the migraine, or else it wouldn’t work. Fun times.

My forties were not any better; in fact they got worse. Heavy periods for 10-14 days at a time; it’s not fun! The headaches that you get along the endless cravings for chocolate, cheese, chips. Honestly, the bloating, and the crazy-string-of-walking-farts are ridiculous and so embarrassing. Finally, after many fibroids, bursting cysts and cramps that felt like labor, I decided to get a hysterectomy. Well, it was kind of decided for me. One day, I picked up my mother from the airport for the holidays and we needed some last minute food items at Sam’s Club. I walked in and felt something inside of me drop. It was weird. Then I had some pain. I had almost given birth to my uterus on the floor. Yes, I had a prolapsed uterus. I needed to have a hysterectomy. I had the hysterectomy and it went well. But the emotional feelings I was going through, along with the weight gain and what no one tells you is hard!

Part 2 - Post surgery – Instant Menopause coming soon!